I have a feeling that I was not the only person who has stirred and stewed on some negative interaction to the point of violent imaginings. Especially as a kid, yikes.
But I’ve gotten a lot of headway on that with age, and there was a specific sort of burst that occurred through the practice of Aikido. These violent imaginings were effected by the non-resistance, non-violent, yet effective techniques I was practicing. The anger was being channeled through a new program, instead of attempting to destroy the other, I focused on creating connection and preserving integrity. This stimulated more feelings that tended toward empathy and communication than feelings of sabotage and finality within me. All the while I allowed my mind to continue in the imaginings, as opposed to resisting, and found that when I was connected, non-violent, and integrated, my violent imaginings began to shorten and decrease in intensity rapidly. The physical metaphors that Aikido has made available to me have taught me just as much as the practice and actual technique have, if not more. I assume that life-long students must know this: this has been an ‘out-loud’ attempt at explaining my point of view, today, thanks for reading.